If this is the sort of self-deprecatory remark that you regularly make (perhaps with a slight shrug of your shoulders) in response to a piece of, positive feedback or a thank you, then…………….
It might be time to stop and consider whether you are really taking ownership of the things you do well and whether it is time to start noticing and valuing what you have to offer.
It is possible that these are the things that you do so well that to you they are second nature and as such in your eyes, hardly worth noticing. Someone might just as well be thanking you for ‘breathing’ or walking down the road.
In my work as a career coach, I do occasionally come across people, who seem to be almost oblivious to what they do well. Perhaps not a major problem if ‘everything in the garden is rosy’ and they are exactly where they want to and need to be.
But this can be a real struggle when they are facing situations that require them to identify their key strengths, skills and attributes.
It can seem like they are having to really ‘dig deep’ and rediscover what they have to offer. Over the years they may well have lost sight of their strengths and developed a pattern of achieving and doing, without reflection and taking stock.
It’s my belief that in today’s world it is perhaps even more important than ever to be able to say with clarity and conviction, at just about any time “this is what I do and this is how well I do it.”
So if this is you, where do you start?
Well, think back and recall the issues/problems and type of support that friends, family and colleagues have consistently asked from you. Write them down, are there any patterns, themes? It could well be that they are way ahead of you in terms of recognizing your strengths and particular skills.
If you are confident and comfortable with doing this, simply ask them what they value about your relationship with them.
Another approach is to identify some positive events in your life and work, (they don’t have to be enormous or memorable to anyone else), but times/events where you felt some measure of deep personal satisfaction.
Talking through these events or writing them down may help you to gain insight into the skills you were using, the personal attributes you were drawing on or the values you were honouring.
So next time someone offers you some positive feedback and or a thank you, take note, accept it and ‘own’ it.