You’ve been promoted to a seat at the table, and you are the only one from your background. How do you not only survive but thrive?

Find out who else is in the room.

Rather than going in completely cold – do a little background research about the others at the table. What are they saying about themselves in the public space? It is easy enough these days to learn about people via LinkedIn, Twitter, etc. Who could you talk to learn more about their backgrounds, how they approach things, and their journeys?

While at it, why not reach out to them directly—break the ice by setting up informal chats and starting a conversation? Being curious and empathetic could be particularly helpful, as these traits will help you stay open to seeing how these relationships develop, almost like having a blank canvas.   

Be open to seeing and learning what your new colleagues are like rather than making assumptions.

Prepare for the change.

Consider the challenges you might face initially– are there things you can head off with some anticipation and planning?

What aggressions—micro or otherwise might you face as you step into this new role? Constant interruptions, not having your ideas taken seriously because you are the only woman, comments about how well you speak as someone from the Global Majority, being talked down to because of your disability, or perhaps all the above. You may face multiple and layered aggressions because of your situation. So, looking after yourself and having somewhere safe to discuss your challenges is essential.

Think about who can support you – especially in the early days. Build a network of trusted confidantes who will have your back. As issues and challenges emerge, you may need a sounding board of people with similar backgrounds.

It is also possible that in your previous role, you met or even delivered work for some of the people in the room, and here, I think it is helpful to recognise that things will be different now you are in a new position. People may react and respond unexpectedly if you are now in a more senior role. Some people may need time to adjust because you are now a senior staff member. Not everyone will necessarily respond or react favourably to you as a leader.

This might be where you need to take full ownership of your promotion and find a way to fully embody this new position. If you need help with this, consider getting support from a mentor or executive coach.

Seek first to learn and understand.

Take the time you need to observe and learn. There may well be obvious improvements you can make, and it is often easier to see these with the benefit of a fresh pair of eyes – but part of being successful is bringing people with you. It is all about building connections and sustainable relationships so you can move forward.  

Think about your brand and reputation. What do you want people to say about you when you are not in the room? How do you want them to weigh your words?

A thoughtful approach will likely stand you in better stead than becoming known as the person who sweeps in and changes everything before them, like a typhoon or bull in a china shop.

Allow yourself the space, time, and grace to grow fully into the role – no one, and I mean no one, is ever 100% ready to hit the ground running.  

Be your Truest work self – I heard this phrase from guest speaker Geoffrey Williams; you can find out more about him here.

But his assertion struck a chord with me: consider carefully what you want to share with your new colleagues in the public space and what will remain private.

You will only have one opportunity to create that first impression – so take ownership of your story in the room. What will you choose to share to share in the room, at least at the start? What details might be appropriate and helpful to bring from the hidden into the open arena, as in Johari’s Window? For the Beckham fans among you, I was intrigued to learn that he keeps bees and that the opening shot of his Netflix documentary showed him fully suited up and collecting honey. 

If you are on social media, consider what you want to remain in the public domain. Your employer and colleagues are likely to check your profiles. Is what is publicly out there in line with your new role? What would you prefer to keep private or only available to close friends and family?

Remember your worth and your value.

Remind yourself that you have earned your place at the table – because why else would you have been promoted?

You are here because you have something to offer, you have delivered in the past, and you will do so again – because, again, why else would you have been promoted? And remember, your diverse background will likely provide you with a unique perspective and insight that others don’t have. Be proud of what it enables you to bring to the organisation.

Remind yourself why you are a good fit for this position – the skills, attributes and experience that make you suitable. If it helps create an affirmation to anchor yourself, ‘I have earned this position and can make this a success.’

If you struggle with Imposter Syndrome, this article – Imposter Syndrome 8 Ways to deal with it before it hinders your success, might help. I particularly like the reminder that you are not alone with it.

In his article, You need to know the 7 types of power if you want to succeed, Mark Murphy describes Information and Expert Power as the best power sources in this day and age. Identify and recognise the power you already have, and then consider how you can wield it in the wisest way possible. 

SWOT analysis is brilliant for digging deep into a specific situation. Which of your strengths are most useful/relevant in this role? How might they support your success? What external opportunities does this promotion offer, and how can you maximise them? Equally, consider any external threats and how you might counter them.

You can read more here to remind yourself of your strengths and how you might use them to exploit opportunities and mitigate your weaknesses or challenges.

Create a plan.

Consider what success means to you. Create a plan so you know what you need to learn and observe and who to connect with in the first 30 days, 60 days, and 90 days. Pace yourself – ensure your plan allows you to work at a pace where you can look after yourself, and if that is not always possible – build in as much recovery time as possible. Work in sprints rather than marathons – something advocated in The Way We’re Working isn’t Working by Tony Schwartz, Jean Gomes and Catherine McCarthy, Ph.D.

Build those connections.

Invest time in building mutually beneficial alliances. Make connections a crucial part of your plan and find ways to sustain those relationships.

Consider the people who will have your back—those willing to provide support at the drop of a hat. The people you trust to act as a sounding board and offer a sympathetic ear when needed. The people you trust to listen without judgment while you get things off your chest and then to lovingly tell you the truth.

Remember your values.

Review how your success will align with your values and beliefs. What do you want to achieve in this new role? Why did you say yes?  

Think about the impact you want to have. Go back to your why, your vision, and why you said yes to this promotion. Why does it matter to you? How does it align with your values?

Track your progress and consider journaling as part of your wellness routine. Getting your thoughts down on paper regularly is incredibly helpful.

Remember to look after yourself – physically, emotionally, and psychologically because the aim isn’t just survival but thriving.

And finally, a word from someone else.

In preparation for this article, I asked a family member who for many years was the only NED director from her background on an NHS board for her top tips on how to survive and thrive when you are the only one from your background. These are her words:

‘Read the papers and don’t assume others have. Hold your boundaries regarding the time you have available, and know that’ll still be more than you realise. And if you have a functioning board, they should be able to take constructive scrutiny and pick your battles. Don’t assume someone else will notice what you have; try to speak up as appropriate. Keep good oversight, an eye on the bigger picture, and keep coming back to that; if there isn’t a reason for doing something that adds value, why is it being done? Kindness, civility, and persistence go a long way. 

Hold your colour, and don’t pretend it’s not there. You’re an acting board member who’s black, but not to forget others may have hidden characteristics and experiences that may align more than you might first think.

I believe you’re there to represent a wide variety of people but not the representative of all black people and minorities. You may well bring a different perspective, and that’s a joy, and don’t be afraid to share as appropriate.’ 

One last word from me: it may seem strange to include, but as important as remembering why you said yes – I think it is helpful to consider why you would say no. As the only one in the room – you are not a miracle worker; you are not there to tick a box but to deliver a piece of work that aligns with who you are and the values you live by. If there comes a point when this is not possible, it might be time to walk away.  

Janice Taylor

Opening Your World to New Possibilities

If you think adventure is dangerous, try routine; it is lethal – Paulo Coelho.

Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all – Helen Keller

Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? — Mary Oliver

Which, if any of the above resonates with you, one, two or all three?

What do you do when things become stale, and you need to open your world to new possibilities? When you feel ready for a new chapter or a new adventure? 

Well, maybe now is the time to explore – try new things that stretch and move you beyond your comfort zone, as Oliver Page MD describes/suggests in his article, ‘How to leave your comfort zone and enter your growth zone.’ 

The idea of different zones is insightful as Oliver Pages presents a model that shows what happens when we move beyond our comfort zone through the fear zone, the learning zone and enter the growth zone. Not always in a linear way.

But I hope to go beyond trying something new and pushing yourself outside your comfort zone.

 So, what is happening or not happening in your world right now?/ What are you noticing about yourself?

Let’s start with exploring your world as it is now by considering the questions below:

What is draining you currently?

What is energising you?

What are you tolerating?

What frightens you?

What makes you leap out of bed in the morning?

What is your prevalent mood?

What are you focusing on? / Where are you directing your attention?

What are you grateful for today? Because there is always something.

What is boring you?

What is demotivating you?

And if you are prepared to have a go.

Take a large piece of paper, some coloured pens, and pencils and draw a picture of your world as you see it today – all of it work, rest and play. Include your responses to any of the questions you are drawn to.

This exercise is not a test of your artistic ability; it just provides a different way to explore what is going on for you. So don’t worry about stick men and women – the main thing is that you understand the relevance and significance of the things you have drawn. And ideally, you should take no longer than 10-15 minutes over your picture.

This exercise is adapted and used with the kind permission of CCS Ltd.

So, what does your world look like?

The most memorable pictures I have seen include a snakes and ladders board representing the ups and downs of someone’s career, a sheet coloured entirely in yellow, and a tree whose branches showed the different parts of someone’s life. The main thing is that each person could explore those aspects at the forefront of their minds.

Once you have completed your picture – put it aside for a day or two before taking a good look at it. But when you do, consider how you feel about your world picture. What gaps are there, and what might that be telling you? What would you like to see more or less of? What is the relationship between the different parts of your life?

You might find talking through your picture with a friend, family member, colleague, or coach helpful.

What changes do you want to make to your world, and how will you do it? Which areas aspects do you want to broaden or expand? Are you looking for an incremental change or a new broom?  

Broadening out, taking some risks, trying new things, and opening up your world is likely to require the following:

Courage – to take that first step into the unknown, or as Brene Brown so eloquently puts it, ‘You can have courage, or you can have comfort, but you can’t have both.’  

Assume you already have the courage to start and accept you will likely experience some discomfort as you seek change and expansion. You might surprise yourself after you have taken that first step – but the thing is to start.

Curiosity – about what might be possible; curious people are open to new possibilities and fresh perspectives.

So, what are you curious about? What topic is piquing your interest? If time and money were no object, what would you try? 

Lean into your curiosity about the world and the opportunities out there. I remember doing this when I started my business twenty years ago – clear blue skies represent opportunities I haven’t yet found. And I still take comfort in that.

Putting the two together, dare to see where your curiosity might take you. I did this when I signed up for a stand-up comedy course, and it is playing a part now as I start to pull together ideas for a podcast.  

So, where might your curiosity lead you?

And if you want to read more about curiosity, please click here.

Two other aspects that are likely to help with opening up your world are:

Creativity – what does creativity mean to you, and how might you bring more of it into your life? Is this missing from your world picture?

During the Pandemic and the various lockdowns, I couldn’t help but notice how people kept themselves sane – gardening, painting, making music, wreath making, dancing, and playing party games. It wasn’t just about creating art – but finding creative ways to express themselves or finding a creative outlet.

The purpose of art is washing the dust of daily life off our souls ― Pablo Picasso.

So, going back to curiosity, what might you want to try for the sheer fun of it?

What aspect of your creativity are you curious about?

You can read more about developing your creativity here.

Confidence – as you start, your confidence may build to the point where you take bigger and bigger steps. New possibilities and opportunities appear, and you learn to trust in your abilities to manage the change:

Instead of seeing the rug being pulled from under us, we can learn to dance on the shifting carpet – Thomas Crum.

And if things don’t work out the first time, remember that there is always tomorrow. Dust yourself down, reflect on your learning, and move on. When things don’t go as planned, I like to remind myself, ‘That wasn’t your finest moment, Janice, but you can do better next time.’

Practical tips:

1. Take up a course – either online or in person, but something that gets you with and amongst new people. Find something that interests and energises you, something unrelated to your work. Consider how you might bring some creativity into your life. It could be just the thing to restore your mojo – fill in a part of you that might be missing.

I want to acknowledge that resources and funds might be an issue, but there are some free and or low-cost courses out there both online and in person, particularly if you are taking the first step:

Future Learn

Open University

WEA: – Worker’s Educational Association

1. Take up a cause – what fires you up, puts fire in your belly? What do you stand for and believe in? How could you make a difference? You could start by volunteering with a charity related to your cause.

• Seek out people who interest you – I regularly follow people on Twitter and Instagram– because I am curious about their writing and stance on specific topics, even if I don’t necessarily agree with everything they say. 

• Review your reading – if you enjoy books, is it time to try something new? Consider authors and topics you haven’t read before. In the past, I have generally preferred biographies, autobiographies, and some historical fiction. With the advent of my writing course, I am reading and enjoying a broader range of stories and novels that I might not have otherwise considered.

I could say the same about what you are watching and listening to – video streams and podcasts open up a new way of creating and accessing content.  

• Get out and physically explore – what new walks or routes can you find? There is plenty to discover in new places, but what about the things/ people under your nose? What could you uncover about your local area if you tried?

• Identify and connect with your champions and cheerleaders – the people who will support your exploration into new territory.

Treasure those whose company prompts you to be playful and have fun – their gift to you is priceless – Anne Dickson.

• Make room physically and psychologically – if you want to bring in something new – you might need to create the space for it. Every yes has a no; if you are saying yes to one thing, you are likely saying no to something else.

Consider pruning back on those aspects of your life that no longer serve you. And if that includes saying no, you might find this article helpful: elegant ways to say no.

Let’s see how you can open up your world, and good luck with your explorations!

Until next time

Janice Taylor

Blue Sky Career Consulting

Seven confidence boosting strategies for the workplace.

If you Google – How do I improve my confidence at work? There are 621,000,000 results made available to you in 0.69 secs – in a year, that averages out to 1.75 million searches per day.

If you made one of those searches – were you looking for help with a specific event or situation at work or help with a more general lack of confidence in your abilities at work?

Whether facing a job interview, delivering a presentation, speaking at a public event, pitching for work, or negotiating a pay rise, you can apply strategies to boost your confidence.

1. Research and prepare with as much practice as possible in the available time. And here, it could help to buddy up with someone you trust to give you honest and constructive feedback.

• SWOT analysis is brilliant for digging deep into a specific situation. You can read more here to remind yourself of your strengths and how you might use them to exploit opportunities and mitigate your weaknesses or challenges.

1. Success Journal – start a journal where you can acknowledge and own the successes you have undoubtedly had. Develop the habit of asking yourself – how did I surprise myself this month? What did I learn? How did I challenge myself, and what am I proud of this month? And then, allow yourself to sit with your answers and own them.

• Visualisation – create a picture of your success. Visualise it. What are you wearing? What are you doing that is contributing to your success? What do you notice about yourself? Inhabit and become comfortable with who you are in that situation. Take and own the space you need.  

• Affirmations – are helpful to remind yourself that ‘you’ve got this.’ The following links can get you started if you need suggestions for affirmations you can adopt and how they can help build your confidence.

Learn to live with the discomfort – you may never feel 100% comfortable with a specific situation, but if you have done your homework – prepared, practised, and sought feedback.   You can move forward knowing you have done as much as possible and have another learning opportunity. Accepting a degree of discomfort might make all the difference – sometimes, we can focus more on this than the task itself. And as a colleague told me long ago, ‘Janice, try to relax and enjoy.’

Listen to your self-talk – it is also worth noticing what you are saying to yourself and how harshly you are judging yourself. What is your inner critic saying to you, and what can you do about it? And here, Sadia Salem has provided a comprehensive guide on how to stop battling your inner critic. I love that she recognises the value of our ‘inner critic’ but that it is not the only voice to which we can listen.

And realise that you are not alone, as Bernard Marr points out in his article about the five fears that hold people back at work:

• Fear of Public Speaking
• Fear of Failure
• Fear of Success
• Fear of Making Decisions
• Fear of Change

Which of the above resonates with you? He also considers how we might limit ourselves if we choose not to tackle these fears alongside suggestions for managing them.  

The fear of success that I have witnessed with clients over the years reminds me of the lovely quote by Erin Hanson:

What if I fall? Oh, but my darling, what if you fly?

I am also a huge fan of Susan Jeffers’s ‘Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway,’ an oldie but still hugely relevant. It reminds me that we can’t wait to feel completely comfortable; we must have faith in ourselves and take that first step.

But for those with a more general lack of self-belief, we may need to consider that it’s not just about self-confidence.

In his book, The Resiliency Advantage (2005), Siebert writes that the three ‘Self’s’ described below are at the core of our ability to bounce back from life’s setbacks:

• Self-confidence is our belief in our ability to take effective actions and how well we believe we do things.
• Self-esteem – the feelings we develop about ourselves. Our emotional opinion of ourselves
• Self-concept– the thoughts we develop about ourselves and who we (think) we are.

Today, I am deeply thankful for all the different experiences that have shaped me, and through the years, I have become more determined to ‘Thrive and Flourish,’ come what may.

Siebert describes this as, ‘discovering your talent for serendipity, having the ability to turn misfortune to good fortune.’ Others like Jeffers and Frankl describe it as being able to truly ‘dance with life.’ 

The image I have of this is based on a quote by Thomas F. Crum:

‘In an uncertain world, instead of seeing the rug being pulled from under us, we learn to dance on a shifting carpet.’ 

We can be resilient in learning to dance on our carpet, but when we thrive, perhaps we can also ‘fly’ with it – this is my hope for you.  

But to do this, we must strengthen and nourish our self-esteem, self-concept, and self-confidence. Intertwined, like pieces of thread, the stronger each self, the stronger the thread and hence the stronger and more resilient your ‘fabric‘. 

I’m also intrigued that Siebert links our sense of self to the three major nervous systems within our bodies:

• Somatic – controls our physical actions and is the source of our self-confidence. 
• Autonomic – governs our feelings and is the source of our self-esteem. 
• Central – includes our brains and is the source of our verbal, conceptual thinking, and Self-concept.

So, how do we go about ‘nourishing’ and strengthening all three? My initial thoughts on this are:

We seem as a society to place more emphasis on self-confidence, which may be considered the ‘easiest’ to do something about. 

There might be a more vital link between self-concept and self-confidence, and changing your view of who you think you are (self-concept) might make it easier to change your belief in your abilities (self-confidence). 

If our self-esteem is rooted in childhood experiences, it will likely be more challenging to ‘rebuild’ or nourish if needed. If you have ‘grown up’ never quite feeling lovable, worthy of respect and care, you may need to look at longer-term solutions around counselling or therapy.  

We may all have an ‘Achilles heel’ – but that doesn’t mean we can’t get our voices out there. If you can’t take the first step, try moving your toes in the right direction.

Until next time

Janice Taylor

www.blueskycareerconsulting.co.uk

References:

Frankl, V. (2004): Man’s Search for Meaning; Rider: an imprint of Ebury Press, Random House: London

Jeffers, S. (2005): End the Struggle and Dance with Life; Hodder Mobius: London

Siebert, PhD, A. (2005): The Resiliency Advantage; Master Change, Thrive Under Pressure and Bounce Back from Setbacks; Berrett-Koehler Publishers: San Francisco

Word Count: 1,159

Written and published initially for Jenny Garrett Global

Managing your community

I value the friend who, for me, finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who, for me, does not consult his calendar – Robert Brault.

Seeing the quote above, how many of these people do you have in your life? The actual number is perhaps not as significant as the fact that you have some and that you both know who you are.

As we go through life, we all build up our own community of friends, colleagues, acquaintances, and family members. Within your community, there will be people who are very close to you and others less so. Reviewing your community may seem harsh and ruthless, but which friendships and relationships are worth continuing? Who are the people who really ‘have your back’, and who are the people that, without a moment’s notice, you would drop everything to go and support if necessary?

Maybe now is the time to take a long, hard look at your community and ask yourself, is it at a size where I can enjoy and contribute to it? Or is it too big, or perhaps even too small? Are you simply saying yes to social engagements so you don’t feel left out?

It can be when life takes a sudden turn for the worse that you realize the calibre of the people you have in your community.

Might it be time to consider each friendship and ask yourself, am I getting what I need here? As importantly, am I able to contribute meaningfully to this friendship? You may need to consider the possibility that you are not in a place to offer the support and friendship someone else needs.

If you were to take a large circle and put yourself in the middle with increasing concentric circles, who would be the people in the ring closest to you? How would you describe the level of trust and mutual support between you? Rate this on a scale of 1 – 5, with five being the highest level of mutual trust and support and one the lowest.

What about the people in the outer circles? Do they need to come closer? Would you like them to be closer? Who are the people who you know you can always rely on? The people who make you laugh, think, or feel comfortable and safe?

Community Boosters

• Treasure the people you trust and know, and tell them how much they mean to you.
• Take the time to build memories with the people you trust and know – more straightforward to do if there is some consistent pattern to your contact.
• Find ways to spend more time with your friends.
• Find fun things to do with your friends.
• Prioritise building a store of shared memories with your friends and family.
• Write down what you treasure about your close friends and what makes them special to you.
• Don’t just rely on social media to maintain your friendships; pick up the phone and arrange to meet in person.

So, in terms of your community:

Who and what do you need to let go of? 

What do you need to take on? –

What are you going to do now?

And a final quote and question from James Clear:

It’s easy to gravitate toward the idea of having lots of friends, but you’ll probably benefit more from strengthening your “inner circle” friendships than from simply gaining more friends.

Who belongs in your inner circle? Can you reach out to one of them right now?

And if you want to find out more about the amazing community of coaches I belong to, look here. https://diverseexecutivecoaches.co.uk/

Until next time

Janice Taylor

Managing your emotions

When awareness is brought to an emotion, power is brought to your life – Tara Meyer Robson.

For me, managing your emotions is about understanding and appreciating your feelings for what they are, valuable and honest insights into your ‘inner world’, but not allowing them to dominate your actions, thoughts and words.

Emotions provide valuable clues as to how we feel about a particular situation or person, and there is no right or wrong in the feelings in themselves. The right or wrong may come in what we choose to do about them.

Managing our emotions enables us to respond rather than react to a particular situation, recognise when we might have to ‘cut others a little slack’ and help them realise they might have to do the same for us.

It means we find ways to acknowledge and work through our emotions constructively and not allow them to fester and ‘burst forth’ at times and in ways that are inappropriate.

Managing our emotions means knowing which battles we need to fight, which ones we need to walk away from, and if we need to ‘fight’ using our emotions wisely to ensure a good outcome.

It is about understanding the consequences of a particular course of action.

Our emotions provide colour and texture and can often spark action, though we must ensure that the action is constructive rather than destructive. 

So how do you start to manage your emotions more effectively?

One thing to consider is to develop an emotional anchor representing a source of stability or security. Something that grounds you and keeps you steady when times are tough puts you in a better position to respond rather than react. Your anchor could also be a source of strength for you.

So look at your life and see if you can identify your anchors; they could be:

• Your family and friends:- the handful of people you know and trust to be there for you when needed.
• Those strengths and attributes that you know from experience you can call on when needed. I know my determination and ‘grit’ are my power sources. I don’t give in easily.
• Your life story, in a phrase or a metaphor.
• Those places that hold meaning and happy associations for you.
• Any metaphors or phrases that might remind you of your values.
• Activities, habits, and routines that you know uplift and inspire you – these could be listening to music; playing the piano is one of mine.

Emotional Boosters

• Take regular breaks and regular exercise
• Seek out those things that uplift you; songs, music 
• Use steady, slow breaths to calm and steady yourself
• Remind yourself of when you have come through tough times before
• When things don’t go according to plan, practice asking, what can I learn from this? What did I do well? What will I do next time?
• In any situation, look for where you can take control; at the very least, you can always control how you feel.
• Find and use quotes, affirmations and or poetry that help lift and boost your ‘spirit.’
• Practice watching for your emotional state and that of others
• Writing your thoughts can be a valuable way of discharging stress
• Keeping a daily journal of your thoughts and feelings might help to identify patterns or recurring triggers.
• Connecting with nature and simply getting outdoors
• Practice being grateful; ask yourself daily, what am I thankful for today?

 So in terms of your emotions:

What do you need to let go of? –

What do you need to take on? –

What are you going to do?

Until next time

Janice Taylor

www.blueskycareerconsulting.co.uk

Managing your attention and focus.

If you don’t like the world you see, change the prescription of your glasses – (Chu, 1995, p41) 

The above quote, for me, is mainly about choice, what you actively choose to focus on and, consequently, where you decide to direct your energy and time. Getting this right may help you make the time to pursue the things that will lift and inspire you and actively seek new and fresh perspectives.

Some of this will involve your ‘self-talk’, the things you habitually say to yourself. For example, when I am feeling drained, I can find myself repeatedly saying, ‘I am so tired’, which is pretty accurate. But repeating this phrase doesn’t help me feel better about myself or my situation. All it seems to do is keep me ‘stuck’ in not such a great place. I might be better off saying, ‘I need to rest and recharge,’ and then actively planning how to get the rest I need.

So, take the time over the next few days to notice the messages you habitually send yourself and their effect on you. What are you choosing to dwell on?  

Also, consider what others might be picking up from you. Are you inadvertently leaking or sending out ‘unhelpful’ or negative messages? Are you noticing a tendency to focus on your problems rather than on possible solutions and opportunities? There’s a balance between recognising a problem and then deciding to focus on getting through.

You might also find it helpful to consider whether you are naturally more predisposed to thinking things are generally within your control (Internal locus of control) or outside of your control (External locus of control).

People with an internal locus of control generally feel more in control of their destinies. They tend to attribute their success and achievements to their efforts and typically identify and take the control they can in any situation. They are more likely to be happier, less depressed and less stressed.

However, people with an external locus of control generally feel that they are at the mercy of fate and there is little they can do to change things. They can find it challenging to identify and take the control that is available to them. They may use negative ‘self-talk’ to maintain their position and stay in a state of ‘victimhood.’

If you tend to have an external locus of control, you may need to work a little harder to refocus and learn to identify ways to take control. Some strategies for this include:

1) Recognising you have a choice – you just may not like the available choices.

2) When feeling trapped, brainstorm ideas on your own or with a friend. Be playful and open. The one idea that initially sounds ‘crazy’ might be the thing that will move you forward.

 3) Once you have your ideas, use different stances to explore each one. You could take the perspective of a Dreamer, Realist and Cynic to examine and evaluate the pros and cons of each one.

4) Notice your language – instead of saying,’ I have no choice, or I can’t,’ change it to ‘I choose not to, or I don’t like my choices, I will explore further.’

Focus Boosters

• Find a hobby, an alternative focus that absorbs and engages you.
• Find the things that give you joy and make the time to do them.
• Look for the humour, the comedy in situations. Most situations will have one, even if you have to dig it out
• Look for ways to be creative and playful
• Find gratitude; ask yourself what am I grateful for today?
• Use quotes and affirmations to shift your focus and broaden your perspective; Tomorrow is another day is a favourite of mine.
• Seek out those things that uplift you:- this can be as simple as looking out of the window at some clear blue sky.  

So, in terms of your focus:

What do you need to let go of? – What unhelpful language, phrases, and beliefs?

What do you need to take on? – What activities and people renew your perspective?

What are you going to do?

Janice Taylor – Blue Sky Career Consulting

www.blueskycareerconsulting.co.uk

Managing your time

Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you. – Carl Sandburg

I would also say be careful not to allow ‘things’ – social media, binge TV etc. to spend it for you.

So what do I mean by time management?

The phrase ‘less is more’ sums it up for me – where you find ways to work with your natural rhythms and avoid cramming your day with a long list of (uninspiring and uninteresting) tasks or desperately trying to manage everything at the same time.

If you were a gym member, you wouldn’t usually spend hours working on just one part of your body. Most of us would go along and use a variety of machines to exercise different muscles in different ways.

The same principle applies to how we use our brains. Give different parts of your brain – time to rest and recharge. Allow ‘greater space’ for your brain to do what comes naturally, ‘problem solve’. In other words, start learning to ‘get out of your own way’.

Allow time for different types of thinking: relaxed, creative, focused, and concentrated. Identify when you are most alert and creative and use this to your advantage.

References:

David Rock, Your Brain at Work

Managing your time and energy is not just about getting stuff done but getting the right stuff done at the right time. It is about having the time and energy to do more of the things you want to do.

Think of yourself as a ‘dancer’ with one partner at a time rather than a ‘juggler’, constantly worrying about dropping the ball.

To achieve this, you will need to decide to focus on one thing at a time – give it your undivided attention so you increase your chances of getting it done in a shorter time.

Splitting your attention over several tasks while trying to multitask is ineffective.

It’s not just about your time, it’s about your focus and attention, and it seems that time spent without these can turn a task into something that drags on and on.

So why not have a look at your ‘to-do’ list and ask yourself:

Is this a task that needs to be done?

If yes, am I the only person able or the best person to complete it?

If yes, when will I get it done, and what will completing this task enable me to do?

Go through each of your tasks and see how your list looks now.

Time Boosters:

• Stop it: – what would happen?
• Delegate it, but don’t dump: – who else could do it and benefit?
• Partner with someone: – it might be quicker and more fun to work with someone else
• Partner it with another activity/task: – for me, singing and or listening to music and cooking go nicely together
• Plan your time and stick to your plan; you may be surprised by how much you can get done in fifteen minutes of focused attention.
• Identify and make time for those activities that you enjoy and that give you a boost.

So, in terms of your time:

What do you need to let go of? – Do you need to do it all?

What do you need to take on? – Who else can help and support?

What are you going to do now?

Until next time 

Janice Taylor

www.blueskycareerconsulting.co.uk

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Managing your energy

Do not draw your sword to kill a fly – Korean proverb

Or I could ask, how wisely are you using the energy you have? Are you squandering it, fighting battles that are no longer relevant?

This month I want to focus on ensuring we all have the energy to live fully.

Generally, we use the word energy to describe the idea of vigour, movement and vitality, which has the power to exert and make a change.

It is about having that ‘spark’, that extra ‘zing’ in your step. Because without your spark, you might feel like you are ‘wading through treacle’ with barely enough energy to cope with what’s on your plate.

So, take a moment to consider what metaphor or image you would use to describe yourself when your energy is high, and you have your ‘spark. It might help to either write/ draw your metaphor or image.

Now also take a moment to consider the image or metaphor you would use to describe yourself when your energy is low, and your ‘mojo’ has gone missing. What do you notice? Are there some similarities between the two, or are they completely different? What might tip you from one to the other?

When I was younger, I had ‘bags’ of energy and ran around climbing all sorts of ‘mountains’ simply because they were there. In those days, I had the time and energy to get away with it. Now, I am more aware that my time and energy are finite and that I must choose where to direct my energy and focus to the best advantage. Sometimes this involves putting myself first and simply saying no to requests from family, friends, colleagues etc.

So how do you know when your energy is at the right level? What do you notice about yourself? Where do you feel it physically? My stomach is a good indicator for me, and this is where I will feel it when I’m not entirely operating at my peak – when my energy is low, there is often a corresponding dip in mood.

So, what could you try to give yourself a boost?

Energy Boosters

• Enjoy a physical change of scene – maybe it is time to book that holiday.
• Get moving – even if it is up and down the stairs
• Make it a priority to get outside each day and appreciate the outdoors.
• Take regular breaks – time to ‘be’.
• Find a hobby, a pastime, an alternative focus that absorbs and engages you.
• Make a list of five energy drainers – then do something about them. (A cluttered desk and a wardrobe full of unworn clothes are two of mine.)
• As much as you can, make sure you are eating a well-balanced and nutritional diet.
• Check in with your doctor – if you are still worried about your energy levels.

So, in terms of your energy: 

• What do you need to let go of? – are you using your sword to kill flies?
• What do you need to take on? – what activities will help recharge you?
• Who can help?
• What are you going to do now?

Until next time

Janice Taylor

www.blueskycareerconsulting.co.uk

How to coach as a leader

‘Instead of seeing the rug being pulled from under us, we can learn to dance on a shifting carpet’ – Thomas F. Crum.

When asked to write about this topic, I thought long and hard about how to approach it. And yes, we can talk about a world filled with Volatility, Uncertainty, Complexity and Ambiguity (VUCA) – but why use an acronym when you can paint a picture with a metaphor?

Besides, the quote by Crum always makes me smile as I imagine myself hopping and skipping about on my own carpet.

Today, we need people who are both able and enabled to manage change, complexity, and uncertainty.

Who wants to work in a place where everyone is wading through treacle? Because things have always been done in a certain way, or it is too risky to attempt something new because there is little positive engagement with senior management. Or perhaps it is quicker and easier to direct than coach someone through a situation.

So, what are you doing as a leader?

Is it time to ask yourself – whether you are building bridges or walls? Whether you are growing more leaders or just more followers.

In their article – Why all leaders need to be coaches, HR Grapevine quotes Deloitte:

‘Organisations with senior leaders who coach effectively improve their business results by 21% as compared to those who never coach.’

In – The Leader as Coach – affecting organisational success and growth from a place of curiosity and empathy, the HR DIRECTOR tells us:

‘Leaders that develop coaching skills also see increasingly higher levels of employee engagement, motivation, and efficiency.’

In her article, ‘Why Leaders Should Consider Shifting to a Coaching Leadership style Now More than Ever, Kara Dennison asserts that coaching is not just about professional development. It is also about boosting your employees’ confidence, and building strong communication skills, thus improving performance and productivity.

Not an easy thing to do if we consider that leaders need to achieve a balance between meeting short-term objectives and supporting/developing their people for the long term. It can often seem easier and quicker to tell than to coach.

But if you intend to grow more leaders and support and develop your employees, you may need to become a leader who coaches.

The real power behind coaching lies in the questions asked. And answers each person sets out to find. Questions are at the heart of coaching, and the right ones can uncover how someone thinks and what they know. They can lead to greater engagement and allow people to hear themselves think.  

Thoughtful, challenging, and contextual questions can lead to better answers as people:

• Shift their perspectives
• Stretch and grow in their thinking
• Open and expand possibilities
• Challenge long-held ideas and beliefs
• Reflect so they can either slow things down or speed things up
• Gain deeper insight into a situation

Serendipitously, I discovered Amy Brann’s article. ‘The power of Questions,’ while scrolling through my LinkedIn feed, and I was intrigued by the three questions she posed:

1. What were the last questions you asked someone?
2. What do you usually give more thought or time to, the answers you give or your question? Why?
3. When did you last sit down and mind wander through a series of questions, not worrying about the answers but instead getting lost in where the questions could take you?

These questions are an excellent start if you are considering how you can bring more coaching into your leadership style. As a bit of a daydreamer, I am drawn to the third question.

There are, of course, a whole range of coaching programmes and interventions, but whatever you choose, the key will be to practice and apply. And because I can’t help myself, I am a coach after all – here are a few questions to consider if you are thinking about becoming a leader who coaches:

Self-awareness and feedback

How aware are you of your influence and impact on others?

What style of leadership do you customarily adopt?

When was the last time you sought feedback, 360 degrees or otherwise?

Where are your strengths as a leader, and how often do they show up?

What about your weaknesses and blind spots?

Johari’s window is a useful four-quadrant model for considering what is out in the open (what is known by you and others) and your blind spots (what is known to others but unknown to you). Because with the best will in the world, we don’t always know what we don’t know.

It is worth thinking about vulnerability and trust; how much of yourself are you keeping hidden?  

Your leadership style –

How well are you listening to the people around you?

Which voices are you listening to? The loudest, the ones most like you? Those telling you what you want to hear?

How diverse is the lens through which you are looking?

How much rapport and trust is there within your team?

How well do you know their strengths, weaknesses, and aspirations?

How much do they know about you?

How active are you in harnessing the talent within your team?  

What might you be missing?

These questions all lead to accessibility and trust, and from my own experience, two leaders come to mind when I think about this:

The first walked in as I was being interviewed for my first full-time job – on hearing that I spoke German, he immediately switched languages and asked me a question (just as well, I told the truth on my CV). He seemed reasonably satisfied with my answer, which was the first of many encounters during my time at that organisation. He was regularly on the shop floor, wandering around the offices, and it was not unusual for him to stop and chat with whoever he came across, including yours truly.

The second, who, even after five years, I barely spoke to – was hidden mainly away either in his office or behind the same small group of people. When I queried this with my boss, I was told, ‘he’s a bit shy.’ I was not impressed then, and it would not impress me now.

Your leadership values –

What does leadership mean to you?

What brings out the leader in you? What is your why as a leader?

Which of your values plays the most significant part in your leadership?

How does a coaching approach fit with your values?

What sort of environment are you creating?

Are people surviving or thriving within your organisation? 

What would it take for people to thrive and flourish?

Our values are the things we believe are important in how we live and work. They run through us like writing through a ‘stick of rock’, and we probably take them for granted until they are under threat and boy, do we then sit up and take notice. They may be so central to the way we live that, almost like ‘breathing’, we probably don’t fully notice them until they are under threat.

So, if you want to revisit your values and how they relate to your leadership, consider MindTools ‘What are your Values?

You might also want to look at Simon Sinek’s; start with your Why.

Seeing Amy Brann’s article, The Power of Questions, made me think how helpful it might be to review and consider the questions we are already asking. Audit or review the questions we are asking ourselves and the answers and responses we are getting. 

Question audit:

What questions are you asking?

How many questions are you asking – hourly, daily?

How are they advancing your understanding of your team and their capabilities?

What reactions/responses do you get to the questions you ask?

Are your questions open and expansive, or are they shutting people down?

How are you framing the questions you are asking?

What type of questions makes you most uncomfortable? 

And finally, here are six quotes that speak to me about leadership and how to be a leader who coaches:

• Whenever you write or say anything at work, be thoughtful, be clear and be human – Charlie Corbett
• Seek first to understand, then to be understood – Stephen Covey, habit five.
• Tell me, and I forget, teach me, and I may remember, involve me, and I learn – Benjamin Franklin.
• You can have courage, or you can have comfort, but you can’t have both – Brene Brown
• The best listeners – listen between the lines – Nina Malkin
• Leaders who don’t listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say – Andy Stanley

Until next time

Janice Taylor

Originally published as How to be a leader who coaches:

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Finding your joy

Where do you find your joy? What does a joyful you look and sound like once you have found it?

My message for this post is simply this, find those activities that bring you joy, and then do them – no excuses, no procrastination, no waiting for that perfect moment. Because I think now more than ever, finding joy and contentment is a radical and defiant act.  

So, what brings you joy?

I find joy in having the freedom to engage in activities that leave me energized, fulfilled, connected and in the moment.

Activities that get me out of my head work for me – like playing the piano. I cannot play while thinking about something else. Practising different pieces requires my full attention. Playing a piece of music without hesitation or error for the first time – knowing that I have taught myself is also joyful.

Or as Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, the father of ‘flow’ describes it:

…being completely involved in an activity for its own sake. The ego falls away. Time flies. Every action, movement, and thought follows inevitably from the previous one, like playing jazz. Your whole being is involved, and you’re using your skills to the utmost.

Click here for the source.

As I grow older, I have become more and more confident about finding my joy and determined to make it a daily part of my life. Because if I don’t, who else will?  

So, in no particular order, here are a few of the things that bring me joy:

• Free-flow writing where my thoughts can tumble onto a page.

• Creating stories that appear humdrum but have a bit of magic thrown in – accounts that are a little quirky, where I can lose myself. Writing stories provides a focus for a busy mind – genies in kettles, interviews with slugs, you get the picture.  

• Juggling different ideas and perspectives for work and play.

• Journaling and setting my experiences down on paper – currently, I am writing a collection of stories loosely based on my time as an undergraduate engineer. Once I have finished part one, I have plans for part two.

• Diving into a book that absorbs and engages me – I am currently rereading the Thomas Cromwell trilogy by Hilary Mantel. It is another source of escapism for me, and if you want to read the fan fiction I have written, click here Cards on the table and A Strange Comfort.

• Allowing my thoughts to wander – I am a big daydreamer.  

• Watching my daughter ready herself for university after a tough couple of years – sometimes, your pathway is a squiggle rather than a straight line.

• Posting my blogs, Pittabread, Careeresilience and Shortstoriesblogger, is deeply satisfying. Each time I press the publish button, I experience a sense of achievement, and I am proud to have kept this up for over ten years.

• Clear blue skies on a meeting-free day, where I don’t need to be anywhere, I can ‘potter’ around in my own time, space, and schedule.

• Early starts in the garden before it gets too warm – to listen to the birdsong as I prune and tidy.  

• Being part of a diverse group of coaches – something I did not realize I needed until I became a member. You can find out more here.

So, how can finding joy help with your work and career?

Or another question I could ask is:

How do you experience being at your best, and what do you notice about yourself?

When operating at my best, I experience a level of ‘calmness’ and ‘focused energy that seems to come from within. I become aware that I am moving through the situation or task with grace and ease and completely absorbed and engaged. Very similar to my description of joy.

And I think it is worth repeating; Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s description of ‘flow’:

…being completely involved in an activity for its own sake. The ego falls away. Time flies. Every action, movement, and thought follows inevitably from the previous one, like playing jazz. Your whole being is involved, and you’re using your skills to the utmost.

As you read this description, can you identify with it regarding your daily work? Can you recall such ‘flow ‘moments in past or current roles? The last line is particularly intriguing:

‘Your whole being is involved, and you’re using your skills to the utmost.’

I wonder how many of us are experiencing ‘flow’ at work, and if not, what would it take to change this? How many of us can say we regularly use our skills to the utmost?

Interestingly, Csikszentmihalyi also suggests three conditions for achieving ‘flow:

• The activity has clear goals and milestones to give it direction and structure.
• Feedback is clear and immediate, so the individual can adjust their performance and maintain the flow.
• There is the right balance between perceived challenge and perceived skill to meet the challenge.

I believe that moments of ‘flow’ in life and work are essential, even if they are seemingly fleeting. It gives us something to strive and hope for. They can help us see that we can achieve a sense of mastery, contentment, and joy over what we are doing. Perhaps a sense of purpose as we recognize that our role is bigger than us.

Until next time

Janice Taylor

www.blueskycareerconsulting.co.uk